The Ode to Paris
“I’ve got a good idea…” said Kev. “A cycle trip
to France.”
“Russ can sort logistics and I’ll get us padded
pants.”
Within the group we all agreed that Kevin was
insane.
But being just as barking mad we all said “Count
us in!”
Big Steve took on the training and enrolled us in
his gym.
Getting us in shape to go was solely down to him.
Debs and Seb and Sarah went searching for some
bikes.
Steve got out his fettling kit and set to work on
Mike’s.
Cycle world were sponsors so had sorted Ralph and
Liz.
Kevin just went running until they delivered his.
Training was eventful I think it’s fair to say…
Like Debs wrapped round a post just off Fabien
Way.
Mike exhausted falling off and landing in some
gorse.
Steve starting a stampede and getting chased off
by a horse.
Sarah getting weepy when she got bitten by a dog
And then with Mike assisting tried to heal a
frog.
Ralph’s stunt rides were the business- clean over
handle bars...
Mike hitching lifts by hanging on to speeding
passing cars.
Kevin and his puncture while the rest were miles
ahead;
Not a happy bunny-I heard he was seeing red.
The 31st of March arrived and we were
on our way…
Swansea to the Heath on a very windy day.
The film crew did their job and got some
fascinating shots…
Of Liz behind some bushes and noses full of snot.
Day two we all set off again to cross the Severn
Bridge…
(Again with several stops for Liz to dive behind
a hedge).
Libby joined the team today and made her presence
known…
Dermot started twitching and Ben began to groan.
Ryan was a champion; he kept her occupied…
(Though by day four he’d had enough but had
nowhere to hide).
Day three we went to Salisbury and had a fight in
Bath
With some drunken louts who took offence at us on
the cycle path.
They gave out the immortal challenge “Come and
have a go”
So Mike hit the brakes, jumped off his bike but
Uncle Ralph said “no.”
Day four was Big Steve’s Birthday but we didn’t
need to bake;
He had a hundred weight of flapjacks so he didn’t
get a cake.
We went heading off to Portsmouth for the ferry
to Le Havre
And had to say goodbye to Russ who’d been an
absolute star.
Ralph (the voice of reason) was concerned about
the plans
And Sarah was quite worried about how to drive
the van.
The film crew to the rescue gave us all the help
they could;
They planned the route; they calmed our nerves;
they were more than bloody good.
Day five arrived and off we set-the wind was up
again;
Debs fell off and found herself nearly swimming
the Seine.
Ryan and Sarah went racing-I’m not going to tell
you who won…
I mean he had fresh legs at the end of the
day-look at the miles I had done!
The evening meal was different and ordering it
was a scream
Burger and fries translated into raw meat and
green beans.
Not even Seb could eat it so it must have been
quite rough
For the kid who has three breakfasts and still
hasn’t had enough.
Dermot managed to get locked out; I hear he was
wearing some socks;
Ben is now in therapy after finding a pair of
Mike’s jocks.
Day six I remember as endless fields and hills
that just didn’t stop…
Inevitably I’d have to get off and walk til I
reached the top.
Ralph and Liz got comfy then managed to block the
sink-
Debs resorted to desperate measures signing to
order a drink.
Day seven was Paris. We’d made it. This was the
end of our trip.
At the tower we gathered together with hugs and
with wobbling lips.
Mike flew the flag like a good un-and Liz went to
look for the loo
And Ralph was spared from climbing the tower
because of the length of the queue.
That night we reflected on how far we’d come and
what we had learned on the way
Emotions were high and the wine was good so we
all had something to say.
Steve I think summed it up well when he started
saying his piece;
He spoke of the reason that we were all there. A
little boy called Rhys.
Sarah Thomas. April 2007
